Marriage is a life-long bond between two grown-ups coming from different families, different backgrounds, different cultures.
In a typical desi marriage, the bride leaves her family, career, friends and everything that was once an important part of her life, behind, to move on to her new abode – her groom’s house. Since childhood she has been told that one day she is going to get married and she dreams of a happy romantic marriage. She plays with toy utensils in order to prepare herself. She dreams of being a responsible women, just like her mother, looking after her children, husband and In-Laws. She dreams of being the Queen in her husband’s world.
Everything is doable for her in early days of marriage, the In-Laws seem pleased, Husband seems happy…. And then reality hits hard. Every time she tries to give her 100% and beyond to serve her Husband and In-Laws and every time she realizes it was not enough. Slowly and Gradually she starts getting tired of everything – getting negative feedback, getting abused, name callings, belittling, etc to state the least. Her dreams of being the Queen of the house shatters, she ends up being a mere maid who doesn’t even receive a salary.
She gets pregnant, carries the baby for 40 weeks in her womb while taking care of everyone else. Then she delivers the baby with excruciating labor pain for her Husband, and BOOM! Her hardship reaches the next level. Postpartum, her body is weak, she has several issues in her body, yet, she has to look after the fussy little baby plus the tasks she did earlier continues to grow.
She falls sick often and they say ‘she just wants to rest, she doesn’t want to work’, ‘you are not the only woman to give birth on earth’, ‘humare time pe toh hum sab kuch karlete the’ (in our times we used to do everything)‘aj kal ki ladkiyon se toh kuch kaam hota hi nahi’ (girls of this generation are too lazy to work), but what they forget is their times and now are completely different in a lot of aspects, though belittling remains the same. And just because they suffered we should too? why?
Most women suffer in silence because she doesn’t have an option, if she leaves her husband’s place then where will she go. The society looks down at women who are divorced, no matter how much ever she has been abused – mentally and physically.
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